Personal advice from a trans survivor

Teens are ready victims of cultural forces. Stock photo Anna Shvets (Pexels)

The Washington Post, to its credit, has let a man who identifies as a woman state why troubled young people are not able to comprehend the life-long consequences their urgent decisions will have. Corinna Cohn gets the chance, rare in US mainstream media, which tend to hoe the line set by the elite and its latest fashionable ideology, to tell about the impact now that life as a 50 year old approaches.

Cohn says that at 19 he was too young to make the decision that "committed me to a lifetime set apart from my peers". As a young man he had been attracted to men and thought that by becoming a woman he would be  "more successful in finding love". 

"In high school, when I experienced crushes on my male classmates, I believed that the only way those feelings could be requited was if I altered my body."

This is the kind of confusion Cohn wants to prevent and is alarmed at the "strong cultural forces" that are pushing children to make such definitive decisions without the support of parents. Cohn writes:

As a teenager, I was repelled by the thought of having biological children, but in my vision of the adult future, I imagined marrying a man and adopting a child. It was easy to sacrifice my ability to reproduce in pursuit of fulfilling my dream. Years later, I was surprised by the pangs I felt as my friends and younger sister started families of their own.

The sacrifices I made seemed irrelevant to the teenager I was: someone with gender dysphoria, yes, but also anxiety and depression. The most severe cause of dread came from my own body. I was not prepared for puberty, nor for the strong sexual drive typical for my age and sex.

Surgery unshackled me from my body’s urges, but the destruction of my gonads introduced a different type of bondage. From the day of my surgery, I became a medical patient and will remain one for the rest of my life. I must choose between the risks of taking exogenous estrogen, which include venous thromboembolism and stroke, or the risks of taking nothing, which includes degeneration of bone health. In either case, my risk of dementia is higher, a side effect of eschewing testosterone.

Dangers of affirmation

Cohn's message to society is this: 

I chose an irreversible change before I’d even begun to understand my sexuality. 

Therefore, affirmation can be insidious:

Where were my parents in all this? They were aware of what I was doing, but by that point, I had pushed them out of my life. I didn’t need parents questioning me or establishing realistic expectations — especially when I found all I needed online. In the early 1990s, something called Internet Relay Chat, a rudimentary online forum, allowed me to meet like-minded strangers who offered an inexhaustible source of validation and acceptance. [Emphasis added]

I shudder to think of how distorting today’s social media is for confused teenagers. I’m also alarmed by how readily authority figures facilitate transition. I had to persuade two therapists, an endocrinologist and a surgeon to give me what I wanted. None of them were under crushing professional pressure, as they now would be, to “affirm” my choice.

Most of all, slow down 

What advice would I pass on to young people seeking transition? Learning to fit in your body is a common struggle. Fad diets, body-shaping clothing and cosmetic surgery are all signs that countless millions of people at some point have a hard time accepting their own reflection. The prospect of sex can be intimidating. But sex is essential in healthy relationships. Give it a chance before permanently altering your body.

Most of all, slow down. You may yet decide to make the change. But if you explore the world by inhabiting your body as it is, perhaps you’ll find that you love it more than you thought possible.

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