Death is beautiful though dreaded

American blogger Rod Dreher has reported to the world the last days of his father, Ray, who died aged 80. "It was a beautiful death", he stated. But Dreher later reviewed the nature of that event, which is so climactic for every person, young or old. Many people do not know what a "good death" looks like. Dreher's willingness to share what he witnessed and felt deserves our gratitude.

Ray Dreher near death

That first reaction was a delight almost in the way family and friends supported his father as best they could. "He was not useless to the rest of us. His utility was in giving us a chance to serve him." The love shown by family, friends and members of the community had a richness that could only draw forth a fullness of gratitude that this man had made possible by choosing to follow the path of his life to the end, rather than cutting it short in a mess of conceit.

In due course, Dreher describes the fight against the darkness* that his father had to wage alone, while those around him remained the supporting cast. These are some excerpts from several days' blog entries:

Daddy was one of the most intelligent men I’ve ever known, but he distrusted contemplation. He was a man of action. His entire sense of self depended on his ability to do things. Ray Dreher house-bound and bedridden was not Ray Dreher at all, in his mind. His greatest suffering, I think, was his loss of identity.

Daddy felt useless, and in a different culture, this would have tempted him to euthanasia. Nearly everything that gave his life meaning had been taken from him. He could not stand to be dependent on anybody, for anything, but in the last period of his life, he could not do anything on his own. Why did he not kill himself? Perhaps it was out of Christian conviction, but I think it’s closer to the truth to say that he thought it would be the coward’s way out. Better to bear it till the end. And that he did.

If anyone thinks of the sick, the elderly, or the infirm as useless — or if they think of themselves as useless — send them to me. They are gifts to the rest of us to make us more compassionate, and more Christ-like, therefore more human. It was hard to look upon the wreckage of my once-handsome, once-strong father’s body as he lay dying this past week, but it was also a lesson in humanity, and a lesson in divinity. And it was a lesson that my action-hero daddy taught me about the value of not simply thinking about things, but acting on those thoughts.

Death humbles us all.

 There is something uplifting in the character of Ray Dreher. His son portrays it this way:

As a philosophical and theological matter, I didn’t quite agree with Daddy about the role of suffering, and how to meet it, but it was impossible not to admire — mostly — the moral courage with which he endured. I posted a photo yesterday of him as a boy; you can see in those eyes an intense determination to seize life, and wrestle it to the ground.

That's the type of person I hope will (or does) make up the great majority of every society. People who are determined to go all the way, no matter what, even if there is no other reason than "it's there!" That's where the dignity of the human lies, not in closing their life down before they have experienced it all, though hard and humbling.

* Dylan Thomas expresses the need to see strength rather than the debasement of the man when he calls on his father: "Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray." Thomas's father was a learned man, but could be fierce with it. Thomas does not care what his father does toward him but he wants to see a sign of the old man's former strength. The son needed the father even as the father approached death. Listen to Thomas read his own poem, with that particularly emotional last stanza, here.

The mess of a post-Christian age

It does make a difference to the quality of life for everyone if a critical mass of the people in any country discard or fail to appreciate - and therefore do not accept - a set of principles that has guided relationships and behaviour for hundreds, and in some cases, thousands of years. It's the older generation that has seen a change of this sort in our own era, though it is becoming obvious many more that the lack of acknowledged standards of behaviour does impact the quality of life generally.

The latest evidence of this finding is the column by Will  Hutton, the  principal of Hertford College at Oxford University, and chair of the Big Innovation Centre there. He has been commenting on society and politics for 15 years in The Guardian and Observer. His August 16, 2015, piece expresses his dismay at how many more people are ignoring “the inner voice of restraint”. In Hutton's words: "already coarse times are becoming dramatically coarser" and  there is  "a widespread feeling that everywhere – from sport through business to journalism and politics – the boundaries of acceptability are being stretched". He gives evidence of specifics but in general terms he observes:

In sport there does seem to be a decline of respect for opponents, a rise in gamesmanship and a growth of the sheer pursuit of material ends. Competition in football, cricket, tennis, cycling or athletics for too many is not for the love of the game or for joy in your prowess, but for money, with ever less shame in pursuing that goal.

Nor is this confined to sport. You only need look at the vitriol and spite among bloggers, the incredible aggression in many emails even between colleagues in the same office or the vicious misogyny emerging online to worry that the terms of social interaction are being degraded.

 Similarly, the decline in ethics in finance and business, the manipulation of the prices of financial assets, balance sheets and obligations to pay tax are part of the same phenomenon.

As to reasons why the West, in particular, has been infected by the type of conduct that appalls him, Hutton points out that "the internal voice that checks any of us in our naked pursuit of what we want seems ever weaker". Further,

The shared social and cultural capital that used to generate a sense of shared duty to the game is in retreat. Respect withers. Self-interest rules. There is a surrender to me-first, trash-your-opponent values[...]

Part of the reason is that an all-encompassing big-tent culture to which we all belong and which has the power to stigmatise and make individuals shamed is fragmenting into mini subcultures, defining themselves by loyalty to their own and opposition and hatred of the other. 

Hutton's fear is that thought "capitalism can be driven by a moral purpose; ICT and the internet can be forces for good", the  pervasive "libertarian" society will increasingly focus solely on "personal enrichment", where "it is everyone for themselves".

 And the brutal culture on a tennis court or trading room naturally follows. We need a better public space, and philosophy, than this. 

 Read the whole thing here. 

The meaning of feminine - by a woman

A multi-talented and adventurous woman has this to say about herself in response to an experience of "female" energy arising from the world of nature:

And I found myself in an open, receptive state to whatever might present itself. Not questing, not goal-driven. Just willing to wait and let things happen. To me, that's a feminine outlook, more passive, Zen-infused, if you will, than questing or acquisitive. It's a state where I live most of the time.

I find that an valuable insight as it comes from someone I known as an intelligent and alert commentator on the world and all its inhabitants. You can find more of her insights if you go to her blog here.

The adventure of Easter

From a conversation overheard:

“Because the Lord is risen, life means something completely different. We are no longer bound by time and space, or limited by the frailty of flesh and bone.

“The Lord's resurrection means that life and its difficulties are not the final story and that even our eventual obituary will be only the quickly fading memories of fellow pilgrims. The real story is life eternal, our own glorified existence and eternal destiny with the One who redeemed us, while the things we see around us fade away.”

The gospels – and Paul – stress that there is good reason to accept the reality of Christ actually overcoming death with a return to a life more powerful than he had had as a human for 33 years. For those who do accept the reality, life can become filled with hope, and with the adventure of responding  to a God who has simply shown overwhelming love for us. As well as responding to God personally, our response is also expressed through our generosity towards those around us. 

Owners, managers and staff united in love

With his concept of the Six Thinking Hats, Edward de Bono gave us a set of colours to make explicit a new way of coordinating our thinking to better solve problems, and Stephen Covey has given us the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Both have had an impact on business life, directing it away from capitalism "red in tooth and claw" toward, quoting Tennyson again, a way of conducting economic activity where " love [is] Creation’s final law".
However, rapidly gaining attention in the 21st Century is the way of doing business that goes under the name of the Economy of Communion.

This way of thinking is based of a schema of seven colours:
1. Red: Entrepreneurs, workers and business
The functions and the various business roles are defined with clarity and exercised with a spirit of service and responsibility. The directing style is that of participation. Business objectives are shared and adequately verified in a transparent manner, paying particular attention to the quality of relationships between all subjects involved (stakeholders).
2. Orange: Relationships with clients, suppliers, financiers, civil society and external subjects
Business members commit with professionalism to build and reinforce good and open relationships with clients, suppliers and the territorial community in which they operate, of which creating and safeguarding the betterment of all parties are felt to be integral parts of the mission.
3. Yellow: Spirituality and ethics
The work of the EoC is seen as an opportunity for growth, not only professional, but also spiritual and ethical. The business commits itself to concretely respect laws. It behaves correctly towards fiscal authorities, control bodies, unions and institutional authorities. It knows that the quality of working life is a dimension essential for a person’s growth as a human being. Those who work in EoC businesses learn to give value also to difficulties and hardships in the workplace, making them precious occasions for growth and maturity. In defining the nature and quality of its products, the business is also committed to evaluate the effects of its products on the wellbeing of consumers and the environment.

4. Green: Quality of life, happiness and relationships
One of the fundamental objectives of an EoC business is to become a community. To this end, periodical meetings are programmed to verify the quality of interpersonal relationships and to contribute in resolving situations of conflict, availing themselves of so called ‘instruments’ of communion, among which the occasional meeting between administrators and workers (at least once a year), moments of ‘fraternal correction’ between all members of the business, a time for listening, on the part of managers to dissent and suggestions. If these instruments of communion are not exercised, business life is impoverished, with a cost to economic performance.
5. Blue: Harmony in the workplace
Beauty and harmony in the workplace are the first impression of an EoC business since communion is also beauty, without need for luxury but for simplicity. Hygiene, cleanliness, and orderliness are part of the EoC culture as the harmony they bring will put people like workers, proprietors, clients and suppliers at ease.
6. Indigo: Formation, instruction, wisdom
The business will favor the creation of a climate of confidence among its members, in which it is natural to bring one’s talents, ideas and competencies to the advancement of professional growth of colleagues and for further progress of the business itself.
7. Violet: Communication
Entrepreneurs adhering to the EoC work constantly to create a climate of communication that is open and sincere, one that will favor the exchange of ideas and information at all levels of responsibility.
Excerpts from Guidelines for conducting a business

Waiting for God, no time is lost

Preface of the Mass

Christ
 the 
Light
Mass during the Night, the Nativity of the Lord

The 
Lord
 be
 with 
you. R.  And
 with
 your spirit.

Lift up 
your 
hearts.  R. We 
lift 
them 
up 
to 
the
 Lord.

Let 
us
 give 
thanks
 to 
the 
Lord
 our 
God. R. It 
is 
right 
and
 just.

It 
is 
truly 
right 
and
 just, our 
duty
 and 
our 
salvation,

always 
and everywhere 
to 
give 
You
 thanks,

Lord, holy 
Father, almighty 
and 
eternal God.

For
 in 
the 
mystery 
of 
the 
Word 
made
 flesh

new 
light 
of 
Your 
glory

has 
shone 
upon 
the 
eyes 
of
 our
 mind,

so
 that, as 
we 
recognize 
in 
Him 
God
 made visible,

we 
may 
be caught 
up 
through 
Him
 in 
love 
of 
things invisible.

And 
so, with Angels 
and 
Archangels, 

with Thrones and Dominions,

and with
 all
 the
 hosts 
and
 Powers of heaven,

we 
sing
 the 
hymn of
 Your 
glory,

as without end we acclaim:

Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God of hosts,
Heaven and earth are filled with your glory.
Hosanna in the highest.
Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.
Hosanna in the highest.

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